I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
