We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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