CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
