Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
