Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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