We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The power of my boobs compel you
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
