What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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