Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We left the knife in your bed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
