I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
