Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
