You're so nebulous sometimes
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
