At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
love makes seman taste better
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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