Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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