i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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