Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
