why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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