I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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