Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
A+ Viking dick
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
