Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
