weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
