Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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