ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
