Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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