as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We need to rekindle our bromance
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
