The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
