I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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