the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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