also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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