that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
