I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize