I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize