Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize