Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
