If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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