I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
