I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize