How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
