That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
