its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
false alarm. still invincible.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
