We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
