I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
