Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
