just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
