if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
