"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
