i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
