is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
