First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
