I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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