I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
