your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
