that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
