Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
