mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
