You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
