i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize