I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
