lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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