Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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