I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
