Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Couch. On fire.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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