Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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