What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
